17:47, Busrides from Hell, and The Drug Hag ~ Day 47
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006After we arrived in Laos, we met another traveler, a very tall French guy. He was trying to take a bus to an area in N. Laos, but the bus only runs once a day when it fills up. The bus schedule (which can only be obtained at the bus station) is pretty meaningless.
He said he’d told a Lao person, “In Europe, we have trains that leave at exactly 17:47.” The Lao person looked puzzled and said “WHY???” Besides the fact that there are no trains here in Laos, the Frenchy said that an exact departure scheduled to the minute, like 17:47, is so profoundly useless to people here. Time means absolutely nothing.
I guess we didn’t really believe him as we got frustrated with the buses during our travels. We wanted to go to 4000 Islands in the southernmost part of Laos from the capital Vientiane - everyone said it was so beautiful, amazing and relaxing. Problem was, it’s hard to get to! And, we had to extend our Laos visa (pain!)
Back to the buses. We had taken 2 already; from Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng and then to Vientiane, the capital city. We loved Luang Prabang… a wonderfully preserved, totally laid back town (former capital) with great restaurants, markets and beautiful sights. The bus to Vang Vieng was about 5 hours… it was supposed to be an air-con bus. It was, but they didn’t turn on the air-con! The weather was cool during the first half of the ride luckily. However, the road was nothing but one hairpin turn after another, winding around a mountain. After a couple of hours of this, one of our friends from Canada hurled a few times. (Luckily we weren’t sitting by him!) It got really hot on the bus, still no A/C, and I got a sweaty back (ugh.)
Then, we were in Vang Vieng. Everyone warned us that this place was SO touristy — “Friends” re-runs playing in most restaurants (Krysti, you would have been happy as a clam!). But, everyone said it was fun to go tubing down the river, which we did and it was fun. A lot like tubing down the Bogga Chitta, stopping at places on the side for a beer (you don’t pull an ice chest with you), gorgeous mountains and scenery all around. Also, there were zip lines and trapezes to swing from and ledges to jump from (we just watched!) Since we’d heard the place was so touristy, we expected it to look nice like Luang Prabang, maybe modern — but they still have dirt roads and run-down buildings. However, against the wishes of the locals, they are now working on paving the roads.
Our next bus ride was supposed to be 2 hours and was 3. Another sweaty back for me. The “air-con” bus is really just another scam.
We considered flying down to S. Laos instead of taking the bus, since I was not thrilled with the buses up to this point. Little did I know the real fun was about to begin! J suggested that we break up the bus trip and stop at a few different places along the way to 4000 Islands, then fly back up to the capital and take our flight to Vietnam. (Our flight to Vietnam is in a few hours).
We took the first bus trip - 5 hours. We had to take a locals bus with the locals… no other option. No A/C. We sat on the stuffy bus sweating as people came through to try and sell us crap. Mostly food, but nothing I would consider eating.
Then we pulled out of the station and over to the side of the road for more people to try and sell us crap. Again food, most of which I don’t think I can identify. A couple of the items were chicken-on-a-stick, 3 roasted eggs-on-a-stick, and baguettes. I think J actually bought 2 baguettes.
So then the fun began. Our driver, apparently thought he was Evil Kneivel or had been watching too much NASCAR. He started to pass every vehicle going under 50 mph, regardless as to whether or not there was a hill or a turn up ahead or a Mac truck in the other lane. As he played chicken with everything else on the road, he honked his horn (a very loud and annoying honk) and chatted away on his cell phone. Then the clouds and thunder got going but this did not seem to slow him down. The locals started to seem concerned about Evil Kneivel too — was that a bad or a good thing?
Finally, the sky opened up and it started pouring. Evil Kneivel did slow down, but I think that’s only because the wipers either didn’t work, or he wanted the challenge of not having them on. At this point, J and I were ready to get out at BFL (Bum F Laos) at the side of the road and almost did, but finally the rain stopped and we lucked out.
We made it there in one piece and were going to kiss the ground when we arrived in Tha Khek, but the roads were not paved there either and we were already dusty enough.
The next day, we took a bus to Pakse, only 2 hours north of 4000 Islands. First, the tuk-tuk driver (like a motorbike taxi - see previous entries) brought us to the wrong bus station. I thought J was going to kill him because he wanted more $ to go to the correct one, and the SAME thing coincidentally had happened to us the day before.
I said I’d pay the extra, let’s just GO, and he was pissed but we raced out there. On the road, the bus to Pakse was passing us coming in the other direction, and somehow the tuk-tuk driver managed to flag it down and pull over for us. J wasn’t convinced we were on the same bus because we were relying on the tuk-tuk who didn’t even speak english. So, we were on the bus. It was crowded. It was hot. It stopped often to let on more people. It stopped often for people to sell us crap on a stick. There were some brits on the bus that confirmed that the bus ride should be 5-6 hours. The guy who took our ticket said we’d get there in 6 hours (we were expecting 5).
They really packed on the people. They were crammed in the aisle, some sitting on plastic stools, and one girl commandeered my armrest and part of my seat as hers. Again, my back was really sweaty.
Fortunately, this driver didn’t behave like Evil Kneivel. However, there was a 19 inch TV mounted above the dash near the roof. Although the driver was really not positioned to see it from his seat, he managed to lean back, adjust the volume frequently, and I could even see him watching it intermittently from watching the road! And no, we didn’t get to watch Mission Impossible or something… this was non-stop hours of Thai video music (loud), with the words appearing below like on a karaoke machine.
So the bus ended up being 3 hours behind schedule. I asked a man next to me how close we were, when we were already over an hour late, and he said “15 minutes.” After another hour or so, J got restless and went to the front to ask. So this was our most hellish (though not smelliest) bus ride to date.
well, Jonathan is here so that means that I have to sign off now. We are off to Hanoi, Vietnam. Guess I’ll finish up with the buses, 4000 Islands, and the Drug Lady next time!
